


When You See a Monster, You Must Stop It

by askscienceboyfriends



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Depressed bruce, Depressing Thoughts, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Science Boyfriends, Suicidal Thoughts, dark content, dark conversation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-16
Updated: 2014-07-16
Packaged: 2018-02-09 02:24:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1965399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/askscienceboyfriends/pseuds/askscienceboyfriends
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce is having some very dark thoughts.  Tony tries to help him out by telling him exactly how much Bruce means to him.</p>
<p>Warning for LOTS of dark and depressing thoughts and conversation.</p>
<p>This fic was heavily inspired by the movie Shutter Island.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When You See a Monster, You Must Stop It

When Tony finally found him, it was on the roof.  If he hadn’t been looking so hard, he would have missed him.  Not that Bruce was hiding especially well, but it was very dark by this time, and he blended in with the shadows that city building lights didn’t illuminate.  It wasn’t the first time Tony wished he’d put some kind of light out there.  He added it to a list somewhere in his mind to worry about another time.

When he approached the other man, he moved slowly.  He stepped heavily, wanting him to know someone was coming, knowing it wouldn’t be safe to take him by surprise.  Bruce didn’t look up even when he stopped several feet away from him.  Time to proceed with caution.  Bruce was too upset, and too close to the side of the building, for Tony’s liking.

“You know the word trauma comes from the Greek word for wound?” Bruce’s mumbled sentence surprised Tony, but he heard every word of it.  Tony did know that; he was pretty sure Bruce was aware he knew that.  So he didn’t answer, opting instead for listening and providing support.  “I can’t get injured.  I can’t get sick.  I can’t die. It’s a different kind of wound.  I don’t know if anyone can understand.  It’s a mental thing.  Constantly thinking.  Constantly working, pretending I’m something I’m not.  Pretending I’m not a monster.  Sometimes I don’t even know who I really am.  And who would be able to live with it?  With being a monster?  But I can’t stop it.  I don’t have an out.”

“Stop it.  You are not a monster.  And just because you can’t get any physical wounds doesn’t mean you can’t feel pain.  Both kinds of pain.”  Tony took a step forward, still wary.

“It’s okay.  I’m not gonna jump.  Wouldn’t do anything anyway.”  Tony stopped his hesitation and crossed over to Bruce.  He sat down next to him and stared out at the city, not looking at Bruce, as Bruce wasn’t looking at him.

“For someone who’s not gonna jump you’re awfully close to the edge.”

“I don’t have a choice about being near the edge; I have to learn to exist there.”

“You don’t have to just exist.  You know you do have a choice now. You don’t get like this very often, but when you do it’s terrible.  I know this is terrible for you, because it’s terrible for me.  Just, please, let me help you.  I can help when you feel like this.  You don’t have to feel so alone.”

“I won’t be your burden—”

“No, you won’t be.  You’ll be the part of me I feel like I’m missing when you’re not around.  You’ll be the thing that gives me a reason for waking up every morning.  You’ll be the foundation that I would crumble without if you were to leave.”

Bruce swallowed and lowered his eyes from the skyline.  He never had a problem confiding in Tony or letting Tony comfort him until he felt like this.  It must have been a special kind of mood swing that he experienced as a side effect, but when this hit, he could only seek comfort in being alone.  Or sometimes being alone with something that otherwise scared him.  Like the gun, or the long way down from the top of Stark Tower in this case.  He didn’t expect anyone to understand.  And he didn’t think anyone would ever provide him with any relief from the pain from his perpetual wound.  Not on one of these days.

But as he sat there, not knowing where to look or what words to say, Tony slid closer to him until they were almost touching.  And when he finally turned to look at the man with all the nice words and promises and ambition enough to seek him out, he saw Tony holding out his arms and looking at him with no fear or judging or anger in his eyes. All he saw there was love, and relief.  The relief he needed.

Bruce leaned into Tony, crashing his head against the man’s waiting chest like an angry wave striking a lighthouse, and he found that it suddenly didn’t hurt to breathe anymore.  Tony wrapped his arms around Bruce and knew that this breakthrough in their relationship was the most important one they might ever make.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for our blog ask-science-boyfriends.tumblr.com


End file.
